at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
