I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
