She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize