So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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