My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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