the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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