he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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