In the future we'll all be gay
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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