duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
