Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
