thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Randomize
