I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
