What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
