i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
