You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
