Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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