Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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