You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Randomize
