Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
