i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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