I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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