sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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