just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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