Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
