That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
