this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize