it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
