I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
