Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just tell him i said nine months
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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