Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize