After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
