No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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