oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
