Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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