I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize