Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
