i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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