Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
