i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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