Do you still have your period?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
