Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
