Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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