Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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