You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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