My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
