How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
