everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
