At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
