I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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