so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
