He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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