no, he came in my armpit
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
