is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
