he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize