i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
