So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
