Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
