dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just tell him i said nine months
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize