Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
