Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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