somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
