He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
