I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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