no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
