they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
