the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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