He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
