Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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