I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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