I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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