he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
