Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
