So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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