oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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