I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
