My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize