Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
