Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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